Wanted Legend in own mind.  You must be able to believe you are Gods gift to aviation yet be unable to hand push aircraft out of hanger.  Your salary requirement will be comparable to a 777 captain.  You’ll only want to work 2 days a week and only for a maximum of 4 hours.  You’ll expect a free membership to the local golf course as a perk.

Please bring your ego and attitude problem to the interview.

Send all resumes and your mother, who thinks you are the worlds greatest pilot and tells you that all the time, to cloud9@nowhere.com

Worlds greatest pilot wanted.  Must have a bazillion hours.  Work for peanuts (not low pay, actual Peanuts).  They should provide all you need.  They are a great source of nutrition, and make great building material.  Also can be used to make fiber based clothing.  For all the higher levels of need, flying our aircraft should more than suffice.

Send resumes to me@me.com.  Please include 42 references.  Your past  history from birth through Tuesday next week on the skin of a tibetan monk.  Faxes and calls not accepted.